Hint Of Inspiration

My expression don't flow as they once did.
 My pen doesn't mark my history. It doesn't write my biography.
 It doesn't tell my story on paper as our Leaders or my Pastor,
 even Self Proclaimed Rappers -
 and those people who have influenced me once did.
You see, I've often said that I need a muse to infuse me.
 Someone to allow me to express MY views or my perception on how I see things. Someone willin to LISTEN rather than DISHIN'
the Dirt & the Drama.
No, these days life has been bland; Rather boring and its accuring to me more and more that Writing has become my last priority instead of second nature.


And I wish with all my heart I cud savor the elementary days when I cud write without a muse. But these days I'm less enthused ..and well, without a person or thing or reason to be inspired, its impossible for my heart to sing.
 my mind to imagine , my thoughts to become writings...........

However clearing some much needed dead weight opened up and allowed space            for this artist to fill my gaps.
 Best described: Mentally Orgasmic. Her words in the most simplistic of terms struck thru me like lightening in a terrible storm. Her words were strong. They were soft but powerful,
she declared what was destined.
 Positive yet memorizing. She was the inspiration that for years i searched for, my soul yearned for. The change that could only better, and the positive reinforcement I so desperately needed.
 So in the months I have neglected my writings and felt
no need to share, I've found it was simply because who I had around me didnt much care to hear. They Seeminglessly heard and answered the voice on the outside.
She, this artist,
   my muse,
      hears the music my soul sung inside...

7.29.10

3 months later and its amazing how my feelings have change , matured as season do a gradual range - transition from Fall to Winter


Spring to Summer and its a crazy that ur still around even after our downs
And the times I've fucked up . .

I guess I really lucked up; and I held tight on the days my phone longed for ur call and my ears missed ur voice; I had no choice I new it'd get better

Cuz we're for better or for worse

Man sometimes this love feels like a curse. There's days I wish I never cried those tears for u

And days I wish life cud just unDo ;

Then there's times when nothing else matters in life because I have u;

I don't know wat were destined for

Wat plans God has in store

But I hope and pray to be blessed with many many more

Nights held to tight by you , :)

6.30.10

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Train Ride

So I'm on the train, listening to Complicated by Nivea and the song spoke volumes thru my Soul .. Mind and Body, kinda how u do



when we do


wat we do.


U speak volumes thru my heart mind and soul-


Body. You touch my body and it sends chills thru my spine. It permeates thru my skin permanently marking my brain,
it injects ur presences a form of crack that now I neeed u.


Loving you back, I have to feed uu.


I've turned into an addict. Completely addicted to ur mere touch and without it there is no rush,


this is past a crush


and maybe past lust. LOVE? Idk but I no, it shows when Im with u. Ur smile brightens me, ur moan entices me and frankly . .  ur love frightens me,


Cuz I've been here before so many times before and I hate to base my future on my past but to be honest, there's a reason my past didn't last ...


But understand I juss wanna love u, as I'm doin SO well now, and I want u to love me back
 as u do
 and well ..

Allthisranacrossmymind On A Train Ride . . .


(3.30.10)